


The last Wolf

by LoneWolf97



Category: Berserk (Anime & Manga), Dark Souls (Video Games)
Genre: Adventure & Romance, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2020-05-20 00:41:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19366792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoneWolf97/pseuds/LoneWolf97
Summary: Having no recollection of his past, Connor finds himself into a brutal, but familiar world. Having no choice but to start over, he intends to find happiness in this world where such aspirations are punished however, fate seems to have other thoughts for him instead.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! While watching berserk and playing dark souls I had this idea pop into my head and I just had to write it.

****Luca was going to the small river near the refugee camp to wash. The day was coming to an end and she could finally relax. Today had been especially a hard day since they just came to this land this morning. Just as she was about to take off her clothes and enter the cold water she noticed a man lying motionless on the river bank. She quickly made her way towards him and checked for a pulse. It was faint, but it was there. She inspected the man to see if he was injured but saw no injuries on him. She could tell the man was a mercenary by his appearance, but even though some mercenaries liked to customize their armor this man really stood out from the rest. The black died leather armor he wore with only chainmail covering his chest, a steel gauntlet on his left arm and iron kneecaps. She saw several strange rings on his right hand and she bet there were more on his left hand. She could tell that the cape he wore was originally red, but it has lost its color a long time ago and the black tar on it didn't sit well with her because it looked like black that was spreading. But what stood out the most about this man was his pointy steel helm that also had tar-like veins. The weapons he carried didn't put her ease her at all: a greatsword with a dagger. Despite his frightening appearance the man needed help, and despite the possibility that he may cause harm, Luca was not one to ignore people in need. So, after calling for help she had managed to get him to her tent without the Iron Chain Knights knowing. The camp doctor said that the man didn't have any disease and he probably passed out from dehydration and hunger. With warmth and a healthy diet, he would be back into shape. As he laid there, Luca looked at his belongings, which weren't many. Besides his weapons and armor, the man also had a small empty green bottle. From what she could tell the bottle was not used to store water, but a different liquid. Potion, maybe?

_He looks so young. Definitely in his early 20s._

She moved a few brown bangs that hang on his forehead and noticed that he was cold to the touch. Since the weather was still cold and summer was a couple of months away and he would get into shock if his body temperature won’t rise. Luca stripped and laid bare next to him in order to transfer some of her warmth to him.

* * *

 

_He was floating in pure darkness. He could hear voices, but he couldn't make out what they were saying. The sounds they made was deafening. He didn't know who these voices belong to or who he was. The only thing he knew for sure was that he was dead. He had to be since he couldn't feel anything. The only question now remained was whether or not he was going to Heaven or Hell. Judging by the noise the voices made his bet was on hell. He hated that. If he was going to hell, he deserves to know the reason why he was being sentenced to eternal damnation. He tried to recall anything from his life, but nothing came to mind. He knew the voices had the clues he needed, but he couldn't decipher what they were saying. In that case, he decided that he would ask once he arrived at his destination. Besides, it's not like he was eager to know what terrible things he did. Suddenly, he started to feel something. Warmth. Something warm and soft was close to him. The light started to pierce the darkness. Maybe he wasn't going to Hell after all._

* * *

 

He let out a groan as he opened his eyes, the light blinding him

“Are you awake?” a kind voice asked and only then did he took notice on the warmth coming to his right.

“Y…Yes,” he answered before he caught, he felt like he had sand in his throat.

"Hold on," she said and gave him a flask full of water, which he eagerly accepted. "Easy there," she spoke softly as the man gulped down the contents of the flash. "You don't want some of that water to go the wrong way."

He removed the flash from his mouth. “Thank you,” he said and gave it back to the woman. “Where am I?”

“In a refugee camp, we are fleeing from the Kushans.”

“Kushans?”

“Yes. The Kushan Empire started invading Midland some time ago. They have been very successful so far,” Luca said and her eyes glazed over for a bit, remembering how brutal they are.

“I see,” was the simple response.

“Anyway, we are safe for now, so you don’t need to worry. I’m Luca, by the way. What’s your name?”

The man frowned, deep in thought. “I don’t know,” he said eventually

“You don’t know?”

The man shook his head. “No, I don’t remember anything," he said looking into empty space as the realization settled in. He was all alone, in a strange place having no idea who he is. He couldn't even remember his name! Despair gripped his heart, as he tried to look strong.

Luca’s heart broke at the sight. The young man looked like a lost child. She moved closer to him and gently put her hand on his shoulder. "You're still alive and that is more than enough. You have a chance to start over and maybe you'll remember. But even if you don't you can make new memories, happy ones," Luca said with a kind smile.

The young man found her positive attitude infectious as a smile found its way on his face, and her kindness struck a chord with him. “Yeah, you’re right,” he said before he noticed that both of them are naked. His face turned red. “W-Why are we naked?”

Luca chuckled, finding his expression cute. “You were cold and I had to find a way to keep you warm.”

"A-ah, I see. Thank you," he said, not looking at the young woman still embarrassed.

Putting a hand on his forehead, she couldn’t help but enjoy the embarrassed she saw in his green eyes.

_He’s so cute_

"You're still cold, so I'm going to get you some soup and some clothes. You shouldn't wear your armor in the camp, it will make people uncomfortable," she said as she got dressed

“O-Ok.”

"Oh, and we also need a name for you. We can't just call you ‘hey you'," she said, her brows furrowed in thought. "I got it! How do I feel about Connor?"

He shrugged. “It’s okay.”

“I think it’s great. From now, until you remember your name, you’re Connor,” Luca said before leaving the tent.

Connor laid down as he took in his situation. Alone in an unfamiliar world, with only the clothes on his back. But for some reason, he wasn't afraid. Maybe this happened to him before?

 _Besides, I’m not really alone_ he thought as Luca entered the tent with a bowl of hot soup.


	2. Chapter 2

After a week of resting, Connor was able to get out of the tent. He was introduced to Luca’s friends and quickly found out that Luca was a mother hen, taking in strays and taking care of them. This only made the admiration he felt for grow. Over the week she had tended to him personally, bringing him food and making sure he was comfortable. A warm feeling blossomed in his chest and while he couldn’t name it, he liked it. He could get used to a life with Luca and her friends. However, his arrival has created some problems. One of them was that they were refugees and they were under the boot of the Iron Chain Knights. In order to avoid their suspicion, Connor was forced to hide all his possession and wear normal clothes. The only weapon he had was a long sword given to him by Luca, who said she borrowed it from a friend. The other was that he didn't find out how he could pull his own weight. He couldn't bring food and medicine as the girls did (which he still haven't found out how they do it, since whenever he asked they would change the subject). Luca suggested that he joined the Iron Chain Knights since she had a connection inside they could accept him, but he was hesitant. While logically this was the best choice, a part of him was hesitant to join. He had seen a few knights who passed out rations in the camp, and while they seemed noble he had heard that they accuse people of heretics and execute them without much of a trial. When he brought up the argument he expected Luca to counter it, but instead, she smiled and said that it was his choice how he wanted to help and that she wouldn't force him. For some strange reason his cheeks heated up, but he managed to keep his cool.

And now he was sitting at the edge of the camp, deep in thought of how he could help, but nothing came to mind.

“Hey,” a soft voice called.

Connor turned and smiled. He would always be happy to see her. “Hey.”

“What are doing?” Luca asked as she set down.

“Thinking.”

“Have your memories came back?”

“No. Not even a fragment.”

“I’m sorry,” she said sympathetically

The young man shrugged. “It’s fine. I don’t let it get to me.”

“But something _is_ on your mind.”

Connor smirked. “Nothing gets past you huh?”

Luca returned his smirk. “Nope, so you might as well just fess up.”

“It’s just that I don’t know how to help. Believe I want to,” he said with a sigh. A moment of silence fell between them. “Do you,” he began tentatively. “Do you think I’m a burden?”

“What?!” asked a shocked Luca. “No, of course not. I would never think you as a burden,” she said firmly.

Connor was relieved. The last thing he wanted to do was put Luca in a difficult spot. “It’s just that I want to fit in, but I don’t know what to do. And my memory still didn’t come back!” he said, frustrated.

“Hey now,” the young woman said and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “No one fits in right away. We all try to find our place in the world, and it could some years to find where they belong. Just give it time, okay?”

Connor nodded, feeling very grateful for her. Suddenly a growl was heard and Connor and Luca stood up immediately as wolfs approached them.

“Get behind me,” ordered Connor as he drew his sword.

One of the wolfs lunged at him, but he cut it down swiftly, then he stabbed the closest one in the eye, killing it. Two of them bit his ankles to keep him in place while another was about to topple him, however, Connor realized the beast's intentions and stabbed the wolf that lunged at him in mid-air, before killing the ones who bit his ankles. The last one tried to run away, but Connor threw his sword at it, killing it.

Luca was speechless. In a matter of two minutes, all wolfs laid dead. What was more impressive was the warrior attitude that Connor displayed. He was sure of himself, but not cocky. He predicted what the wolfs were trying to do and countered it.

_He was also so calm like he had done this before. I am sure that he forgot how to use a weapon because when I gave him the sword he looked at it like he hadn't seen one before. Is this the warrior instinct the men talk about? If so, it's very impressive._

Luca snapped out of her thoughts when she saw Connor limp to get his sword, mentally berating herself for not coming to his side immediately after the fight. “Connor!” she called as she came near him, but he didn’t seem to hear her. “Connor?” she said and looked at his eyes. They were glazed over, his mind was somewhere else entirely.

* * *

 

_I looked at the man in front of him, dressed in the same armor like me._

_“Now, I’m going to teach our fighting style. I’m going to do this slowly so you can see. Watch carefully,” he said and crunched down. Using the small dagger to support his body weight, he spun around with the greatsword. I was very impressed. This style is so unorthodox that would caught anyone off guard and is super effective against multiple enemies. "Now, your turn."_

_I try to copy him and I manage to succeed after my fifth attempt._

_The man nodded at me. "Keep practicing for the rest of the day. Tomorrow will work on speed."_

* * *

 

“Connor!” Luca yelled almost making the young man jump.

“What?” he asked her.

“What do you mean what? You zoomed out for a minute,” she said looking quite scared.

 “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just had a flashback.”

Her eyes lit up. “That’s great! I’m so happy for you,” she said as she hugged, finding amusing how stiff he suddenly became. “What did you remembered?”

"Just how to fight using my weapons. You were right when you said I could be part of a mercenary group because my instructor wore the same armor as me."

Luca looked at him and frowned. "Why aren't more thrilled? You just regain a part of your memories, no matter how small."

"I'm happy, believe me. It's just that my wounds pain me," he lied. The truth was that while happy he regains a bit of his past, he was also sad that he had to kill the wolfs. _Why am I sad? Did I had a wolf as a pet?_

Luca’s eyes widen. “Oh, I’m sorry. Let’s go back. Lean on me.”

“It’s okay, I can walk.”

The young woman narrowed her eyes. “You don’t have to act like the big bad warrior. The threat is gone and it’s okay to show weakness in front of the people you are close to. Now stop being a pig head and lean on me.”

Connor blinked a few times before letting out a smile. He leaned on her, not with all his weight, as they made their way back to camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know it has been a while, but rest assured I haven't given up writing or this story. Things have just been hectic for me for a while.

Connor smiled to himself as he walked towards Luca’s tent, carrying some meat inside his vest. He got from one of the refugees after helping him with moving a crate full of meat. Usually, meat in camp is not existent, the man had stumbled onto the crate as it fell from one of the wagons going for the tower without any knights realizing it fell. He hoped that this would have a taste compared to the food that is distributed in the camp. As he walked he reflected on the following weeks that had passed. A new girl name Nina joined Luca’s group. From what he saw she is usually afraid, which is understandable considering that you’re fleeing from a brutal army, and a bit selfish. She doesn't understand why she has to share her food and earning with the rest of the camp, even though Luca has explained it to her that it was to buy goodwill and protection (however, he feels Luca shares because she is just a good person). Other than those small flaws she doesn't seem like a bad person. He hadn't had another flashback since his fight with the wolfs and speculated that those fights trigger his lost memories. What worries him, however, is that the food he eats has no taste. He hopes that it was because the food itself had no taste and nothing is wrong with him. That's why he got this meat. As he approached Luca’s tent he saw Pepe and to him, it looked like she was standing guard. He shook his head, he was reading too much into things.

“Hey Pepe,” he greeted.

“Hey, Connor,” she greeted back, a bit jumpy in his opinion.

“Is Luca in? I have to show her something,” he said patting his left side.

“Uhm, yeah, but she is busy right now,” she said as fidget nervously.

“Is she talking with someone?”

“Yeah! That’s what she does!” she said with a nervous laugh.

“Okay then. I’ll just wait," he said completely oblivious to the girl's strange behavior.

Pepe almost let out a sigh of relief that she had managed to fool the young man. She hated it when it was her turn to cover for Luca because she can't lie to save her skin. Just as she was about to relax, a moan was heard from Luca’s tent. Pepe went rigid, hoping against all odds that Connor hadn't heard it, however, fate was not by her side as the young man passed her almost like a blur. She didn't even have time to call his name.

When Connor opened the tent flaps his mind went completely blank. Inside the tent was a naked man on top of a naked Luca. For a moment he considered that the man was hurting Luca, but he looked at her face, while flushed she didn’t seem to be in pain, but she had a weird expression on her face. At that moment, Connor relied on his instincts and they told him to leave, lest something bad happens. And so he stood at the edge of the camp, still trying to process what he saw.

"Connor," Luca's voice called and he pretended not to hear. Luca sat down next to him and tapped his shoulder. "Connor," he said and this time he looked at her and acknowledged her with a simple nod. Luca's heart broke at the sight of the upset young man. She had been aware of the growing, child-like crush he had on her, even if he wasn't aware of it, and found it quite endearing. That is why she tried her to keep what she doing a secret to protect him. "I'm so sorry, Connor! I didn't want you to find out this way! I would never hurt you!"

The young man shook his head. “I don’t even know what I stumble into. Were you performing some kind of ritual?”

Luca stared at him for a whole minute, completely in disbelieve. _Is he denying what he saw?_ “No. It was just sex.”

“Sex? What is sex?” he asked, confused.

Luca stared again, this time she was convinced that he wasn't in denial. _He really is a child._ “Okay let me explain it to you,” she said with a kind smile.

Several minutes of explanations later, Connor’s face resembled a tomato. “I-I see,” he stammered “And you had sex with that man because you love him?” he asked turning his head to the right, to not look directly at her.

Luca smiled. "No, I don't love him. I did it for some favors."

“Favours?” he asked and looked at her fully.

“Yeah. Like food, medicine.”

“But I can get those! I’ll work hard and you won’t have to do _that_ thing anymore!” he said fiercely.

Luca chuckled. “Connor, I know that you are strong, but no matter how hard you work you will never be able to gather the amount of food and medicine we gather.”

“’We’? The other girls do it too?”

“Yeah…” she said somewhat sadly. Connor knew that if Luca could provide for all of them single handily she would.

“I hate it,” he said as he glared at the ground, his fist clenched.

“I know,” she said softly and the two sat together in silence for some time. “Come, it’s late,” said Luca eventually.

They returned to camp and for dinner, they added the meat Connor acquired to their vegetable soup. Connor took a spoonful of soup and gently blew before eating. His widened in horror as he realized that the food was once again tasteless, even with the meat.

"Wow! It's so good!" the girls said happily as they ate their soup unaware of Connor's growing dread.

He took a breath to calm himself. Maybe it was tasteless because of the way it was prepared. Come to think of it Luca was the one who always cooked the food every time. He kept eating to keep the pretense and looked at the other girls.

_Okay, so Luca is a bad cook. And the reason no one said anything is because they don't want to be rude and ungrateful. Yeah, that's it. But just to be sure I'll ask the girls if they enjoyed Luca's cooking when she's not around._

The chance came when Luca went give some of the soup to their neighbors. "So girls, did you enjoyed the soup Luca made?" he asked with a fake smile.

“Oh, yeah! It was so good! Luca’s a great cook! Did you know she wants to be an innkeeper?” Pepe replied happily as the others nodded in approval, completely oblivious to the horror now present on Connor’s face.

Panic began to grip him as he realized that something is wrong with him. What kind of person can’t taste food? What kind of person is always _not_ hungry?

That thought froze him. _Not hungry? Come to think about, ever since I woke up, I was never hungry or thirsty for that matter. I always ate and drank because others did. Something is very wrong with me._

* * *

A few days past and during that time Connor experimented. He stopped eating and drinking to see if his body will break down. It had been difficult to hide what he was doing from Luca and the others, but it has been five days since he ate or drank anything and he was fine as ever. In that time they moved camp again as more refugees came and with them a lot more Iron Chain Knights. Since more knights appeared, Connor was forced to hide his sword away. After all, refugees weren't supposed to carry weapons. Eventually, they were an Inquisitor who showed up to guide them to the holy land of St. Albion. The Inquisitor was Father Mozgus. Connor had witness first-hand how fanatic the Father and his henchmen were. Another girl joined their group, a girl named Elaine. Well, that was the name Luca gave her since the girl had the mentality of a baby. Connor couldn't even begin to imagine the horrors Elaine endured to have her mind shattered like this, the brand she had on her chest was proof enough of a bad past. Nevertheless, Luca welcomed her with open arms.

“Connor,” called Luca as he sat by the fire. He didn’t know why, but he found bonfires very beautiful. “You let Elaine enter my tent again when I had a customer,” she said.

Connor smirked slyly. "Why, Luca, I don't know what you mean. I would never do anything to jeopardize your work."

"Sure," she not at all convinced. "And I take it this time was an accident too? Like the last couple of times?"

“Would I lie to you?” he asked with what Luca dubbed a shit-eating grin on his face.

Luca shook her head. “Just watch over Elaine and Nina. I have another customer.”

Connor frowned at the mention of another one but complied. He took the two girls to take water, passing near a man who was accused of being a heretic. They were forced to throw rocks at the poor man to avoid suspicion. Connor felt bad for the poor man, but there was nothing he could do. They arrived at the small river and he kept watch while the girls did their thing. Suddenly, he felt a coldness that sept into his bones.

“We need to go, now!” he ordered and almost dragged the girls back to camp. He didn’t know what that coldness was, but it was definitely not human.

A day has passed since he felt that coldness on the river bank and Connor was still restless. He sat near the bonfire in front of the girls' tents, watching the flame dance. If that coldness was made by something different than humans, how was he supposed to protect his new family? Over the course of these few weeks he had become attached to the girls and he swore he would do anything in his power to protect them. But now, he felt like he was about to face something he couldn't defeat. Logically, fleeing is the best option, but where would they go? He had no clue how the world was out there, but from what he heard, the Kushan Empire is invading the kingdom almost unopposed. He also had a feeling that the Iron Chain Knights won't let them go unless they have found their heretics. For now, all they can do is stay put and hope for the best. Not the best strategy in his opinion, but there was nothing else they can do. He sighed at the hopelessness of the situation and went to bed. As he was about to enter his tent he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned and saw Luca going towards the river bank. His heart skipped a beat as he imagined what kind of beasts reside there and after grabbing his sword he followed her without any hesitation. There was no way he would let someone he loves to be hurt. As he arrived at the riverbank, the coldness from before was still present, but much less this time.

“Psst,” he whispered, gaining the prostitute’s attention.

“Connor? What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice low.

“I could ask you the same thing. It’s dangerous here. Why are you here?”

“I’m following Nina. I think she got caught in something bad. I’m worried about her.”

Connor nodded in understanding and the two of them followed Nina and her lover to a cave where more people from the camp came. Connor and Luca soon discovered that this was the heretics’ hideout as they were forced to witness their pagan rituals. Joachim got his senses back after the heretics tried to make him eat human remains and ran, prompting the heretics to chase him down to kill him. He fell from a cliff and convinced that he couldn’t survive the heretics left except Nina who stared in horror at the spot Joachim used to be, realizing what she had done.

“Nina,” called a voice she knew well.

Turning around she saw the woman who took her in and her bodyguard, both having different expressions. Luca's expression was akin to a parent disappointed with their child, while Connor looked at her like she was a cold-blooded murderer. "Luca, why are you here?" she asked, tears falling from her eyes. Luca said nothing as she approached the girl. "No, stay away…" she said but Luca didn't listen. "Stay away from me!" Nina said again, this time with desperation as she grabbed a rock and threw it at Luca's face.

Connor gasped and moved quickly to inspect Luca. His eyes widen as he saw a cut on her forehead. He turned towards the guilty girl with a murderous expression that made the girl flinch and took a step back in fear. “You’re going to pay for that!” he growled like a wild beast and moved towards Nina to rip her apart with his bare hands.

Luca pot a hand on his shoulder to stop him and continued to advance on the girl.

“Why…why are you looking at me like that?” asked the hysterical girl. “I’ve always hated you! Always acting like a know-it-all, ordering us around! I bet you feel good about yourself, don’t you?! You’re a whore just like me! But how? How can you look down on others like that? I-if I scream my people will come and they will tear you apart!”

_Smack_

Connor smirked as Luca’s hand collided with the ungrateful brat’s cheek. Said brat was shocked that she was slapped. Luca didn’t waste any time and put Nina over her knee and started to spank her ass. Connor’s smirk faded as he realized the girl will not be beaten but disciplined like a child. Once she was done, Luca hugged Nina close, confessing how worried she was about her. Connor found Luca’s worry to be misplaced. “If you are done, we need to leave,” he said gruffly.

They walked back towards the camp when they stumbled upon a group of heretics who were about to rape Elaine. Connor drew his sword and was about to cut down the closest heretic when he froze still. The coldness he felt earlier return and his body started to shake in fear as every instinct in him told him to run and not look back. He was vaguely aware that heretics were killing each other, but he couldn’t do anything except sit there, frozen.

"Connor, pull yourself together!" called Luca as he shook him by his arm. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw one crazed heretic coming their way. "CONNOR!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. Her yell had the desired affected as Connor unfroze and killed the crazy man with a swing of his sword. More crazy heretics gather around Elaine and were about to rip her apart when suddenly something appeared and made all the heretics lose consciousness. Connor, Luca, and Nina were shocked at what they thought the girl did, while the heretics revered Elaine as the Black Witch.

* * *

_I grunted as my back hit the floor again. Opening my eyes I saw the tip of a greatsword pointed casually at my chest._

_“You think too much about your next attack,” said the instructor to me. “Use your instincts.”_

_I got up and glared at the man. This was the third time I had my ass handed to me. This weird fighting style the Abyss Watchers are using is so hard to master, but I can't give up. If I do, I'll go Hollow. So, having no alternative I followed the man's advice. I attacked first, swinging my dagger at him, which he easily avoided. However, that was my intent as the man focused on the dagger and didn't notice my left leg positioning in front of my right one until I kicked him in the chest. The man stumbled and I pressed on the attack by jumping and spinning in the air before slamming my sword down on him. At this point, I wasn't going to hold back like I did before, as my instructor clearly could take. It was foolish of me to think that I could kill a veteran like him in training. The man dodged my attack, by going left. I saw him move from the corner of my eye and I dodged, then quickly hit him in the face with the pommel of my sword. As the man was stunned I quickly swept his legs from under him and pointed my sword at the downed instructor._

_"Not bad," he grunted as he stood up. "You have the makings of a great warrior."_

* * *

"What are we going to do?" lamented Luca as she chews her nail.

“We can use the gold the heretics gave us and make a run for it,” suggested Connor. Luca thought about it. The gold will be enough to help them for a while, but the biggest problem is leaving Albion.

"We should abandon the girl," said Nina quietly.

“What?” asked Luca.

“We should leave her. She can handle herself and my people will treat her well.”

“If anyone should be left behind it’s you,” growled Connor.

“That’s enough you two!” snapped Luca. “No one’s going to be left behind.”

Connor scoffed but said nothing. One of the girls came to inform them that Pepe has been taken by the hunters. Connor went to get his sword, but by the time he arrived Pepe was saved and the knights had retreated. All of this was thanks to the Black Swordsman. Connor and Guts exchanged a look of understanding between them. Whether it is that they both fight to protect the person they love or share something else, they didn't know.

 _He’s strong_. Connor thought. _With the way I’m now, there’s no way I can beat him. Best keep him on our side for now._

They returned to the girls’ tents only to discover that Elaine, or Casca as she is known, and Nina left. Or more accurately, Nina took Casca with her as she fled.

 _Clever girl. She realized that Casca is protected by some force and if she takes Casca with her, she'll benefit from her protection_.

Eventually, Guts found Casca and Nina, but they were captured by the knights. With no other option, Guts went for the tower. Luca wanted to go with him and no matter what Connor or the girls said, nothing could persuade her. So, Connor was left with no alternative than to go with her. But he couldn’t go into dangerous territory unprotected. After finding where Luca had hidden his possessions from Pepe, he quickly put the armor on, adjusted the greatsword and dagger. While he had remembered how to use them, it was a different thing than actually fighting like that. The only thing he could do in this regard is to follow his instincts as his old trainer from his memories said.

“Sorry, I’m late,” said Connor as he approached the group, his coming out distorted from the helm.

The girls gasped when they saw him, and the kid with his annoying fairy gawked at him. Even Guts looked at him a second longer. “Connor, you…” Luca tried to say something but no words came out.

“Let’s go,” ordered Guts.

On the way, Connor remembered the coldness he had felt yesterday and how feared he paralyzed him. That should never happen again, especially now, when Luca's safety depended on him. He steeled his mind, remembering that those monsters bled. And if they can bleed, they can be killed. He took a deep breath in and exhaled. His resolve was steel. When they arrived at the tower, Luca called for her informant. Connor saw the way Guts tensed and he knew that he was going to leave them behind. The young man let the Black Swordsman go, as he wasn't his objective to make sure he stayed with them. Eventually, the informant called Jerome.

“Luca, what is it? And who is this guy?” he asked as his arm rested casually on his sword handle.

"Relax, Jerome, it's just Connor. I have a favor to ask," responded Luca.

Jerome guided them to the dungeon, where they found just Nina, much to Connor’s dismay.

“Sorry, Jerome. I didn’t mean to involve you,” said Luca.

“It’s fine, I didn’t actually like this mission anyway,” responded the noble. “Ruining my future for a woman may be fitting for a prodigal son like me.”

“Jerome…” said Luca softly as her eyes sparkled.

“Let’s keep moving,” said Connor gruffly. For some reason, he really hated the way Luca looked at the noble.

Suddenly weird sounds could be heard in front of the group as a giant glob appeared. Connor instincts screamed at him to run. “Everyone, run!” he yelled and everyone fled the monster up the stairs. They reached the top of the tower, where they found another glob monster. The one from below cut up with them and the group was trapped. They all thought they were going to die, when a heat blast evaporated the monsters, revealing Casca, who was trapped inside one of them. The girl ended up in the arms of the priest, who began spouting religious nonsense.

Connor got up and walked up the priest. “We’ll take the girl,” he said, his tone book no room for arguments.

“That will not do,” responded Mozgus. “This witch is the source of all evil in Albion. I am destined to demonstrate God’s victory to the people by burning the witch at the stake.”

"Fine. I didn't like religious zealots anyway," Connor said as he drew his blade.

"I see. You seek to interfere with my sacred duty? My disciples have no mercy towards the enemies of God," he said and a large ugly man with a long chain hook stepped forward. The man used his weapon to grab one of the pillars and flung it at the group. They had managed to dodge the pillar, as it smashed into the wall, leaving a huge hole. Unfortunately, Luca was close to it and the ground gave in and she fell. However, Nina grabbed her by the hand and Jerome grabbed Nina and tried with all his might to pull them both over. In the meantime, Connor’s blade was locked with the disciple’s chain in a standoff.

“Hold on!” he yelled before kicking the man into a pillar before running towards Jerome and Isidro who were trying to pull the girls up.

To him, the world slowed down as he ran towards them. Sadly, he was too slow to do anything, as Luca let go to give the group a fighting chance. Connor was able to see Luca plunging into the cliff below. As Luca disappeared from view, Connor's entire body froze, his mind unable to process what just happened. He fell on his knees and stared in horror at the spot the person he cared about was moments ago, his body began trembling uncontrollably.

 _It can’t be real…This is a nightmare…_ he told himself but no matter how many times he closed and opened his eyes, he was still in the tower, in the spot where Luca fell. When he finally realized that this was reality, the young warrior let out an anguished cry and started sobbing. The rest of the world faded around him as he curled up and cried.

_Why? Why did this happen to her? She was a good person, she didn't deserve this! All she wanted was to keep her friends safe! She didn't even get to have her dream come true! All she ever knew was disgusting, perverted men! And I never got to tell her how I feel about her! I love her! I will always love her!_

Connor kept on weeping, as he stayed near the edge when he felt someone grabbed his shoulder and shook him. Looking up, he saw Jerome looking at him with a solemn expression. "You should get back from the edge, you might fall too."

Connor shrugged the man’s hand away. “I don’t care what happens to me anymore,” he responded gruffly.

Jerome looked at him with the same sadness that the young warrior felt. “Luca wouldn’t have wanted you to die.”

Connor was about to punch the man square in the jaw for mentioning her name when he saw behind the man’s shoulder the fight between the Black Swordsman and the Mozgus’s disciples. The Black Swordsman fought well, but eventually, the numbers were too much for him and got himself cornered. At the sight of the so-called angels, Connor's blood boiled.

_Those bastards! They did it! They killed her! If it weren’t for them, she might have been alive now!_

Connor got up, ignoring the man's shocked gaze as he marched towards the battle with a clear objective in mind: kill the bastards that took the person he loved away from him!

Guts was being held in place by one disciple as the other beat him up with a breaking wheel. Just as the wheel was about to connect with his torso again, something dashed past him and cut the disciple holding him in two and stop the breaking wheel. Looking up, the cursed warrior saw Luca's bodyguard standing in between him and the other angel. What made Guts eye widen was the fact that his savior’s sword was on fire and he gave a small orange glow. His brand felt weird, but not in the sense that he felt when an apostle was nearby, but not the same as those angels. The angel pushed him back and swung the wheel at him.  Connor dropped down and spun around, using the dagger as an anchor and cut the angel’s legs off. He spun again in the opposite direction and cut the man’s head off. The small torturer went for Connor’s eyes, but couldn’t reach them thanks to his helm. The warrior swung his dagger at the little angel, but he was too quick to get a hit on him. However, the small torturer had a predictable flight path, and once he figured it out Connor threw his dagger at him, hitting him in his right wing, forcing him down. The young warrior quickly crushed the man's skull with his boot. Connor saw the last torturer spread his wing and quickly kicked the body of the small torture at him, staggering him. That was all he needed as Connor dashed at the last enemy and with a swing of his sword, the man's upper body was sent off flying. Once it was done, Connor panted, not from the fatigue, but from the anger that rolled off him. Suddenly the ground started to shake and the tower collapsed. Once it was done, Connor stood in the middle of the ruins, lost once again. With his blood lust satiated, he didn't know what he to do.

“Come on, Connor. We have to go,” said Jerome as he approached the young warrior. His sword returned to normal and the orange aura was gone. The Black Swordsman was gone, chasing after the priest.

“What’s the point?” he asked. “She’s gone and with her my reason for living.”

“Staying here won’t bring her back. And she wouldn’t want you to die here,” he said gently.

“What she wanted is irrelevant! She’s dead!” yelled Connor angrily. “And she’s not coming back,” he finished softly. “Just leave me alone. Leave me to rot.”

Jerome sighed and left. As much as he wanted to bring the young man with him, he didn’t have the strength to do so. And he also couldn't abandon the girls in his care now. Luca would have wanted someone to look after them. Once he was alone Connor curled up and cried himself into unconsciousness.

* * *

_"You looked troubled," a voice behind me said. I turned around and saw one of my comrades in arms coming up to me. "What's wrong?"_

_I said nothing for a moment as I stared out onto the valley below. “I started losing memories from my past. The curse is doing its work on me.”_

_"That's to be expected," he said simply which bothers me._

_The fact that I started to forget my family, my friends and my homeland tore me up. They are the reason that keeps me going. The hope that one day I might return home is why I fight. But now…"I'm never going to return home, am I?"_

_“No, you won’t,” he said bluntly._

_I scoffed. “I knew that. Don’t know why I asked.”_

_“Because you were looking for someone to tell that despite all that you will be alright. I know you are dissatisfied with your life now, but you don't need to despair. You're not alone. Everyone is here for you. And you can also find fulfillment in your duty. I know it's not the same as having an ordinary life, but it's better than nothing."_

_I pondered his words. Yes, it was not ideal, but he was right, I’m not alone. That I could rely on someone was something I thought I would never be able to do so again. And maybe that’s enough. I smile at him sincerely. “Thank you.”_

_“Any time,” he said as he patted my shoulder with a smile._

* * *

Connor opened his eyes with a gasp. Looking around he remembered where he was. He remembered Luca is dead. Connor kept laying on the ground as guilt and sadness consumed him.

_It seems I was never able to have a normal life, no matter how hard I try. Luca’s death is proof of that. I wonder what happened to those guys. Did they die too? Did I fail to protect them too?_

The sounds of grunts and clangs filled his ears. Getting up, he looked down and saw the Black Swordsman cutting his way through the glob so that he could reach the woman he loved. Connor let out a bitter smile. _It must be nice to have something to fight for. I got nothing. Luca's dead. Those guys might be dead too. And I don't even remember what duty I had sworn to uphold._ Turning his head he saw Mozgus with the remaining of his disciples fighting to keep the glob at bay. The very sight of the priest made the flame inside his soul burn again. _I may not have been able to protect Luca, but I can take revenge on the bastards that were responsible._

Connor’s sword once again ignited as the orange aura appeared around him once more. He charged straight at Mozgus, cutting the remaining glob that stood in his way and jumped towards the winged priest stabbing his sword in the priest’s chest, bringing him down on the outer wall of the tower.

Connor stood up, his flaming sword held in his hand and looked at his surroundings. _Three more to go_ , he thought unaware how frightening he looked, everyone. In addition to his flaming sword and orange aura, his eyes were bright red. His gaze settled on Nina, and the girl nearly had a heart attack when she met his. When he started to walk towards her, Nina started to tremble. Connor stopped walking when he heard a noise from behind and without warning he was hit by a giant rock fist, sending him tumbling to the ground. Looking up, he saw that Mozgus was still alive and now covered in head to toe in rock.

"You fools who fear not God… You will swiftly receive divine punishment! In God’s stead, I shall punish you!” raged the insane priest. Before he could smash Connor, Guts quickly pulled Connor away.

Getting up, Connor saw the twins attacking the small group. “I’ll only let you fight him until I’ve dealt with his remaining disciples. But he’s mine to kill,” he told Guts before going to assist the group.

Nina tried to flee, but in her attempt to do so, she distanced herself from the group and was about to get killed by the twins. Fortunately, she fell on the ground floor of the tower. Connor smirked when she fell, but his smirk quickly vanished when he heard she was still alive. _Can’t even die properly. At least I’ll be able to kill her myself._

Returning to the matter at hand, no matter how fast Connor swung his sword the twins were able to dodge it and retreat high into the air where they would hover, waiting for an opening. Thankfully, Puck had managed to blind them and Isidro brought them down by throwing rocks in their eyes. The second they were down, Connor swung his sword once and both disciples were dead.

Seeing this, Mozgus let out an angry cry. “The twins! How dare you?! Curse you! Do you not fear God? You dare get in the way of my mission, you devils?!” he yelled and charged at Guts.

He was about to hit Guts with his _God Thousand-Strike Cannon_ when Connor pulled Guts out of the way. “I told you: he’s mine to kill!”

“Can you not hear those voices praying? All of those here, right now, have made their hearts one, praying for salvation. Are you saying you do not care if the lives of thousands of true believers are lost in exchange for that evil witch’s life?”

Connor looked at the mass of people at the base of the wall and he felt empathy for them. They were frightened and just wanted to live. Luca had thought him to always be kind to people and help when he could. "It's true, I feel bad for them, but…"

“Stop being so pretentious!” yelled Isidro “How will burning the lady save all those idiots?”

_He has a point. There is no way of knowing that Casca’s death will erase those monsters. Besides, Luca wanted to save her. The least I can do is honor her last wish._

“Shut the hell up,” growled Guts. “All they do is pray…When they are in trouble, all they try to do is save themselves. Those tens of thousands don’t have the right to depend on a single woman!”

“Prayer is the sign of faith itself!” shouted the priest in rage. “You must pray and offer yourself to God. That is true faith! You brazen fools, who knows not prayer, repent!”

With his right wing, Mozgus punched Connor, who tried to block with his sword, but the force was too great and was knocked to the side, almost falling off the wall as he hung on the edge. Guts took the full brunt of the priest's fury but was able to locate his weak point. By the time Connor got up on the wall again, the mini bomb Guts placed on Mozgus’s chest exploded, injuring the insane priest. The Black Swordsman quickly slashed at his opponent with his massive sword.

“If you meet your God, say this for me…Leave me the hell alone!” yelled Guts before stabbing Mozgus.

“Oh, God…I’m coming home to you…” said Mozgus as he felt his end draw near. “Allow me, at least, to…take this heathen with me!” yelled the dying ‘angel’ as he grabbed Guts with his wings.

Connor was about to go help Guts when he saw him shift his stance. "I'm gonna pass. It’s your time to shine for your faith in God. But I’ll be punished if I intrude,” the Black Swordsman said as he hefted Mozgus over his shoulder. “Fly up to heaven…by your own damned self!” he roared before throwing the priest of the wall.

Connor watched with great satisfaction as the priest fell and died, the only regret was that he couldn’t kill him himself. The refugees begged them to kill Casca, but no one listens to them. Connor told them to run away from the wall before they were surrounded, but they didn't listen to him and died. As they died, Connor felt something. Not pity or sadness, but something different. Something he felt when he killed the wolfs, the heretics and Mozgus’s disciples. He felt like something light entered him, making him feel…good. He didn’t know what it was. Suddenly an object made of light appeared in front him. Cautiously, he extended his hand and grabbed it and when it touched it he knew what it was.

_Soul of Mozgus_

The young warrior was confused. Why did he have the soul of the mad priest? Connor shook it away from now and was thankful none saw it, he needed to stay focused. The group discovered that the blob’s weakness is fire since it didn’t attack people who were near Mozgus’s burning corpse. Guts found a pile of wood and light each piece on fire and gave them to everyone to defend themselves, even Connor as he returned to normal, as the glob came to devour them. As the others fought the monster away, Connor couldn’t help but wonder why is _he_ fighting? Mozgus and his disciples are dead, Nina probably died too when the monster entered the tower. His revenge is complete. There is no need to keep fighting. His musing made him drop his guard and was about to get eaten by the monster, had Guts not stepping in and saved him by hitting the monster with the burning wood.

“Get your head out of your ass if you want to live!” yelled Guts.

“Connor, I know how much you cared about Luca, believe me, I do. But you can’t stop living. She wouldn’t have wanted that. She would have wanted you to live happily,” said Jerome as kindly as he could.

“Yeah? And how am I supposed to live with this guilt, huh?! I was supposed to protect her and she died! How am I going to live with that?!” yelled the young warrior in grief and anger.

For a moment, Guts empathized with his fellow warrior. "Survive first, then worry about that later!" he said as he batted the monster away.

“He’s right,” agreed the former knight. “We need to survive this! We can’t let her sacrifice be in vain!”

Connor clenched his fists, not really buying what his temporary comrades said, but for now, he will survive. When the tower finally collapsed, dawn came. Connor looked around the wreckage, feeling more lost than ever.

“Oh, the puffy lady’s alive!” shouted the kid.

Connor immediately turned and saw Nina coming out of a barrel.

“I’m alive…I’m really alive,” she said, relieved.

However, her relived was short-lived. "For now," said a cold voice that turned her blood to ice. Looking up she saw Conner marching up to her, his eyes glowing red. The killing intent he was emitting was so intense that the poor girl forgot how to speak. "How the Hell are _you_ still alive when all those people who deserved to live are dead?!” he barked as he grabbed her by the throat and squeezed hard. Jerome and Isidro tried to pry him off of Nina, but none were strong enough.

“L-Luca…” Nina tried to speak, but the hand on her throat didn’t let her speak.

“You dare speak her name?!” roared Connor as he applied more pressure. “It’s because of you that she is dead! If you hadn’t been involved with those heretics, if you didn’t run and took Casca with you, she would have still been alive!"

“A-alive…She…Alive…” she gasped as her vision darkened.

"What?" exclaimed Connor and let go of Nina. "What did you say?" Nina coughed, as air flowed into her lungs again. Connor didn't have any patience for the blond woman. "I'll ask one more time. What did you say?"

“Luca’s still alive,” she said.

“You lie,” hissed Connor with venom as Nina flinched.

“I swear, I’m not lying. She was the one who put me in the barrel,” whimpered the scared girl.

Suddenly hope blossomed in the young man’s heart as he, Jerome and Isidro looked for Luca and found her in a well. After they pulled out from there, Connor hugged her tight in his arm. She was cold to touch but alive.

_She’s alive. She’s alive!_

“Luca,” said Nina as she approached her friend, but flinched again when Connor’s gaze landed on her again.

Connor felt like he was reborn like he was given a second chance. To him, the world became beautiful again. And when he saw the one responsible for almost losing the woman he loved coming near her again his hand immediately went for the handle of his sword. “Fuck off!” he scowled as he glared at Nina.

“Connor!” reprimanded Luca, but he paid her no mind. When Nina backed away he hugged her again and whispered softly. “I thought I lost you.”

Whatever reprimand Luca had for Connor, it quickly vanished when she heard the softness in his voice. While he always had a calm and warm tone, she had never heard him talk this softly before. Her eyes widen when she realized that his breath was uneven and he was trembling slightly. Pulling back slightly, she found that her suspicion was correct. Through the eye slits of his helm, Luca was able to see something that she had never seen before: Connor was crying. Smiling in reassurance, she wiped his tears as best as she could.

However, the moment was ruined when several harpoons landed in front of them and the group was surrounded by Kushans.

“Capture all of them!” the Kushan commander ordered. “They must be alive, not unharmed. Specifically, don’t go easy on the man with the massive sword.”

Connor growled lowly. _If those bastards think that they could take Luca away from me after I found her again, they are sorely mistaken! Bring it!_

Connor walked forward and pointed his sword at several enemies while resting the hand that held the dagger on the outstretched arm. He didn't realize that he entered that stance, he just it. It felt like instinct.

“Fool,” one of the Kushans said.

“Connor, look out!” Luca cried out as he was attacked from every direction.

But Connor was not worried. He crouched and using the dagger as an anchor he spun around and cut down all Kushans that dared to attack him. One Kushan looked in horror at the carnage that Connor wrought and dropped his guard, which was the last mistake he ever made as Connor rushed forward and impaled the man on his sword before kicking him off it. A Kushan managed to sneak behind the warriors and capture the women but was quickly killed by Azan. The warriors came closer to each other as they prepared for the next wave of Kushans. However, the wave never came as a monster busted through a collapsed wall, throwing the Kushans in disarray as they ran away in fear. The group stared at the terrifying monster with shock and awe. Connor stood protectively in front of Luca, gripping his sword, waiting for an attack.

_This creature is powerful. More powerful than anything I’ve ever faced so far and will ever face probably. Despite that, I don’t feel fear. I’m ready for it. How come?_

“Zodd,” a low growl grabbed Connor’s attention and saw Guts looking at it with absolute hatred in his eye.

_He knows it. And from the look on his face, they're not friends. Not good. If the monster sees Guts and attacks will we be able to defeat it?_

Fortunately for them, Zodd was not interested in them, which suited the group just fine as that allowed them to escape. Everyone ran, except for Casca, Connor, and Guts.

_What’s this? I feel something…something that tells me I shouldn’t leave right now_

Looking ahead he saw a naked man with long silver hair and blue eyes. The sight of him made Connor held his breath, but it wasn’t because of how handsome he was.

“Griffith…” Guts spoke, his voice so low that Connor almost didn’t hear it.

Zodd kneeled in front of Griffith, who put a hand gently on the monster’s head. As Connor stared he couldn’t help but feel that the brilliance that surrounded the naked man was fake. Everything about him felt fake, from his looks to his gestures.

The Kushan commander snapped out of his stupor and ordered his men to capture Griffith, effectively sending them to their demise.

“Connor! What are you doing? We need to go!” yelled Luca, but Connor barely heard it.

The young warrior still couldn't move. As he kept staring at him, he felt cold and sick for some reason. And the Griffith looked at him and Connor gasped at the emptiness in his eyes.

_Now I understand why I feel cold and sick to the stomach when I look at him, why I feel that everything about him is fake. Because it is. His looks, his gestures, the brilliant aura that surrounds him is intended to cover his core. His rotten core. I can look past his image and see his true self. But why am I the only one who can see it? Why can't Luca or the others see it? Guts can see too, but that's probably because he knows him. And more importantly: why do I feel the need to cut his head off? It's not that I hate him, I don't even know him. But my body is screaming at me to charge._

"Connor!" Luca yelled pulling him out of his trance.

He shook his head. This man, while vile, was not his concern right now. Keeping Luca safe is the only thing that matters now. He turned and ran towards the group. As he ran he felt the hairs on his back of the headstand up, and he knew that the man was looking at him. He didn't look back, because he feared that if it did he might attack him and put Luca and the others at risk. They had managed to put quite the distance between the Kushans and the monster. The group broke up, with Isidoro, the knight lady and her aide going after Guts. The Knight Commander choose to return to Iron Cross. Nina left too, which suited him just fine. Now he, Jerome and the girls made their way towards the nearest town.

“You know, it’s been a while since I was able to see green grass and green trees,” she said with a smile.

The young warrior realized she was right. While in Albion, the grass was dry and brown, more dead than alive. The trees looked rotten, with no leaves on their branches. Here, nature looked alive. No, more than that it thrived. Ironic that in the so-called 'holy land' there was no beauty there, compared to the wilderness they are now. Connor looked once more at Luca, who was looking at a field of flowers below. She gently pushed a strand of hair out her face. She had bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep the previous night and the stress that came with it. Her clothes had tears in them and he could see several scrapes and bruises. And yet, to him, at this moment, she was angelic.

“Isn’t this beautiful?” she asked

“It’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen,” he responded, not talking about the flowers.

She smiled at him. “Come, we need to keep moving,” she said and moved past him.

Connor took off his helm and inhaled the fresh air deeply before exhaling. He smiled. "Everything is going to be okay," he said to himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
